Blinker Fluid

I run 5 or 6 days a week. We are fortunate to have a running path within a block of our house that goes 2 miles in one direction and 1 mile in another direction. They are convenient because cars have to stop for you, unless you are at a major intersection / cross street. Then it can take a few minutes to cross, unless you "jaywalk", which I have been told in Burbank will get you a ticket - a big one.

Personally I have never seen anybody get one so to me it is an urban legend - until I get one.

But running the same path everyday is like running on my treadmill. It gets the job done but is boring and monotonous at best.

One day I took my daughter to the zoo and noticed an equestrian trail that runs next to the 5 freeway. Because it is an actual horse trail it is dirt, which is groomed daily. It has up and down hill grades which are not too extreme for the 20 mile a week runner which I am. There are trees and a large part of the trail borders a golf course which makes for a serene and entertaining environment simultaneously.

In other words I can be cruising along being one with nature and all, while some hack is throwing and breaking his golf clubs. For some reason this works for me - it takes my mind off the rythm of running, but in a good entertaining way,

So I'm making my way over to the park, which borders the trail around 4:30 Wednesday. I'm heading north on the access road and the park is on my left. I have my windows down, a cool breeze is blowing through my car and the tunes are going - it's a great fucking day.

As I approach the entrance to the parking area, which is not all that big, I see a woman in a piece of shit Sentra who doesn't have a blinker turned on, but because of the direction of her car at the entrance wants to pull out and go north as well.

I could tell she hesitated too long and would now have to wait for me to pull in before she could proceed. I also failed to use my blinker. This pissed her off, because as I pulled into the park entrance from the street her window was down and her mouth was moving. Axl was talking to me through my CD player and he is much more compelling to listen to than some random skank in piece of shit car who wants to verbally express herself to me - regardless of the subject matter.

Nonetheless, I turned Axl down and stopped right next to her, her mouth going a million miles per hour and I could tell by the look on her face she was not a happy camper. The conversation went something like this:

Crazy Bitch: How the fuck am I supposed to know you are turning left?

Me: My blinker (which as I stated before wasn't on)

Crazy Bitch: Your fucking blinker wasn't on.

Me: I am aware of that.

Crazy Bitch: Why didn't you have your turn signal on? I could have hit you.

This bitch was so fucking pissed off and one of my faults is assisting others in pissing themselves off.

Me: I am low on blinker fluid.

Crazy Bitch: That's your excuse? Your fluid is low? Isn't that irresponsible? Isn't that a part of being a safe driver? I carry extra fluid in my trunk, in fact I probably have some blinker fluid back there.

Me: Yup, thats all I got.

Crazy Bitch: You need to get to the store and get some before someone gets hurt.

Me: Thank you for reminding me of that. I will as soon as I'm done.

Crazy Bitch: You know it's stupid people like you that cause accidents....

Me: Me being low on blinker fluid makes me stupid?

Crazy Bitch: I'm just saying that I was going to pull out and would have hit you.

Me: Which would have sucked, and fucked up my afternoon of running, and also would have been your fault.

Crazy Bitch: My fault? Your blinker fluid is low. That's your fault.

Me: But because you are entering the roadway, you are forced to yield the right of way to cars which are already in the thoroughfare.

By this time there was another car behind her wanting to leave, which caused our heated exchange to come to a sudden end. As she pulled away she had some parting words for me:

Crazy Bitch: Get some fucking blinker fluid, asshole!

Once she was gone I was finally able to let myself laugh. Blinker fluid, really? And I'm the stupid one.