Almost worth the fucking ticket!

That's right fuckers - I'm back, at least for the day. No homework so I can drop some worthless logic and wisdom - or regale you with my personal run-ins with the Glendale police department. I have met up with those cock suckers twice in the past 4 days. Lucky me.

So last Thursday I am running late for my 7:30am math class. This is the one class I have that attendance counts - and is taken - and counts against you if you are absent or tardy. How exactly, I don't know.

7:30am comes early and last Thursday I was running late. Like 2 minutes late - and that includes the 10 minute walk I usually make to get to class. So, in the interest of time I decided to park closer in the pay lot 1/3 mile closer than the lot I usually patronize.

I turn into the lot (making a left hand turn from an actual turn lane) and a motorcycle cop points me to a spot in the lot where he proceeded to write me a ticket. For what? I asked as dude checks my license and insurance. "Didn't you see the sign"? What fucking sign, I asked? "The sign that says you can't make a left hand turn between 6 and 9 am"? Nope!

Now I have been working on shutting the fuck up, especially when my mouth running is only going to exacerbate my situation - but this fucker had his little ticket book out already and he can't arrest me for questioning his intelligence.

Me:You are seriously going to write me up?

Cop 1: Yup.

Me: Does that sign make any fucking sense to you, or was it made by the Ambiguity Shithead Scenario Group - or ASS Group"?

Then, officer SAT's asks me, "what is that supposed to mean"?

Me: I have to explain ambiguity to you?

Cop 1: No......

Me: Then what does it mean, huh?

About this point officer Mcstupid's partner walked over. He must have heard the conversation I was having with his buddy.

Cop 2: Go ahead, tell him what it means.

Cop 1: It doesn't matter what it means. There is a sign that says no left hand or u-turns between the hours  of 6 and 9 am Monday through Friday.

Me: So you don't know what it means?

Cop1: It means you are getting a ticket.

Me: Isn't this actually just a summons?

Cop 2 is laughing by now. Cop 1 is just pissed off.

Cop1: I need your signature.

Me: For what?

Cop: To show that I gave you the SUMMONS.

Me: I don't want the ticket though.

Cop2: We can take you in to the jail to get your signature.

Both of these cops were on motorcycles, with their stupid looking "hip wader" boots on.

Me: What, you going to make me ride on the back of your scooter?

The first cop was completely pissed off by now, and I knew it. He stared at me while getting on his radio and requesting backup.

Me: Fine, where do I sign?

Cop 1: It's not an admission of guilt, just a promise to show up.

Me: You know my address has changed right?

Cop 1: It's not on your license. How long has it been since you moved?

Me: A year or so.

Dude starts to smile. I knew what he was trying to do. In California it is against the law to not change your address within 30 days of moving. He breaks out another ticket for me and begins to fill it out.

Cop 1: What is your current address?

Me: (I tell him)

He proceeds to fill out the ticket for failure to change my address and hands it to me to sign.

Me: I'm not signing that.

Cop 1: Do you want to go to jail?

Me: Nope.

Cop 1: Then sign the citation.

Me: Nope.

Cop 2: Why would you agree to sign the first ticket, er, summons, and not this one?

Me: I changed my fucking address already.

Cop 1: You are still getting this citation.

Me: Really?

I walked over to my car and dug out my DMV paperwork. I found my address change receipt, and brought it out to show it to dummy. I handed it to him. Cop 2 was laughing his ass off by now and I felt vindicated.

Me: You still want me to sign that? (pointing at his neato ticket book)

Cop 1 walks off ripping up the ticket he wrote for me. I may have received a ticket, but making a cop feel stupid was almost worth it. If you know you are getting a ticket anyway, give a little back.

The Garden

My girl sent me an article the other day, and it caught me by complete surprise. In it was a story about the Federal government sending out menacing letters to pot dispensaries in California essentially giving them 45 days to shut the fuck down. This, from a federal government who for the last two years has insisted the states are grown ups and can handle their own shit. There are 30 plus states who have also voted medical marijuana use into law - and I'm guessing they are next.

The letters were sent by the attorney general (notice no caps) to dispensaries up and down the state. The letters threaten the owners of the land if not owned by dispensary operators with forfeiture of said property, felony charges and most likely some bullshit RICO predications for good measure. Can you say INJUNCTION???????

This kiddies is not what you think - the continuation of the war on drugs. People aren't going to quit smoking weed because Obama can't seem to balance his checkbook. Nope. This is political, and if truth be told I would bet the president has a secret service dude on standby at ALL times with a smoke and a toke.

Nope kids, this is about the pharmaceutical whores who are the largest cartels on the planet. They have shitloads of cash and lobbyists to pay off all of those corrupt fuckers in DC, all so they can create Pot-Marts. These fuckers have seen the taxes generated from the sale of pot here in California and the government hates competition.

So, step one - shut down existing operations. Obama Jabong will take the high (no pun intended) road and claim gateway drug blah blah blah. Pot is destroying the youth of America.......or maybe people are just gradually becoming dumber?????

Step two - hand the weed production, distribution and sale to corporate America in the way of SKB, Watson and others.

Step three - Issue stock in Weed Marts (IPO) and since president smoker dude will own a huge portion of said corporation BEFORE the IPO dude gets rich(er) and everybody is happy.

Obama should have figured out he won't be at the White house for another 4 years - he fucked up. Sorry dude, game over. But if this is your parting gift to the stoners of California, a state you think you can carry regardless what your incumbent ass does, you are so fucking wrong.

This is essentially your retirement fund (allegedly) and your transparency is for shit. Remember history before you go fucking with the stoner republic and tearing down their grassy knoll. Nothing good comes from a grassy knoll - except weed for those who wish to use it MEDICINALLY.

One last point, and take this in the spirit in which it is intended but - PEOPLE DON'T LIKE BEING MANIPULATED WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE BEING MANIPULATED. Feel free to change your bong water, smoke a Newport and relax. Your time in DC is coming to an end.

Are you ready for some bullshit?

Freedom of speech is one of this country's foundations. Sure, there is shit you can't say - fire in a fucking movie house: "bomb" on an airplane: "whore" in church. Who knew saying "Hitler" on Fox would get Hank Williams Jr. banned from ESPN's Monday Night Football theme?

Apparently, Williams is smarter than the fuckers that run ESPN as he chose to clarify his comment(s) that he made referencing the "golf" summit between Obama and House Speaker Boehner comparing it to Hitler playing golf with the Israeli president - it won't get shit done.

Williams went on to say the two politicians, who both smoke by the way, are polar opposites. It doesn't take a fucking advanced degree to figure that out. The "conflict" between the Israeli's and every Muslim country for control of the Holy Land has been going on for over two thousand years - and it will never get fixed. Not today, tomorrow or ever.

For Hank to make the statement is almost less opinion than fact - and to lose a gig opening America's pastime in primetime goes to show how fucked up this country can be. I know, it's the President, but he has done a shit job - the economy sucks, the national debt is out of control and dude is on the golf course trying to figure out how to get another four years?

Calling it how it is, as far as I know, is still allowed - even if it hurts the big dudes feelings. Some shit just might need to be said regardless of how politically incorrect it is to the corporate world.

I personally don't care for Hank's music, but I like the man. Had he called the president a fucking idiot it's entirely possible I could throw in the word "love" - but he held his tongue.

Dude is considering running for office in Tennessee and it would almost be worth it to move there just so I can vote for him. It doesn't matter which side of the political isle you are on, this is some BULLSHIT! I'm glad House is starting tonight so I don't have to watch their shitty network anymore than I have to, besides the game tonight sucks. Have a nice day, and beware of what you say. You just might lose your job!