Puking on the Queen - Part 3

Finally Jayme and her boyfriend get to the room. Their friend Crystal shows up (who really has the room) 5 minutes later. The following is the verbatim transcript from the best 5 minutes of video there was available. I wish I could post it but it just can't happen.

So Jayme is getting worse by the second, and Crystal was high on the same chocolate bars (just less). Jayme is trying to stand at the foot of the bed, Crystal is sitting adjacent from her and the video is being shot by the boyfriend. Jayme is trying to use her iPhone which she could normally do in her sleep.

Jayme: (looking at her boyfriend) Are you gonna still love me tomorrow? No fuck that, it's not nice to take pictures if they don't feel good (laughs)  .......... Crystal, you don't even know.

Boyfriend: What did you take to get you this fucked up?

Jayme looks at Crystal confused.

Boyfriend: Look at me.

Jayme: Because I don't know.

Crystal: Chocolate.

Jayme: That's just...see? It's simple.

Boyfriend: She hucked on the roof and scared the shit out of the passengers.

Jayme falls down face first on the bed laughing hysterically.

Jayme: Nooooooooooooo ...............(laughing) .......I........... just............look..........do you know how hard it is to buy Dramamine these days? (Falls off the bed onto the floor laughing.

Boyfriend: This fucker isn't really floating......

Crystal: I haven't had to score Dramamine..........No you don't understand. You Know what made me laugh so hard, and that I almost shit my pants is that last night I said Jayme you need your pillow (she shows Jayme the pillow - Jayme is on her knees still at the foot of the bed) and Jayme says "oh my God" it's the wrong fucking color. I almost shit my pants.

Jayme is head down, face first on the bed, knees on the floor laughing.

Boyfriend: You feng shui'd the pillow?

Crystal: (Laughing) There is something wrong with it.

Jayme: It is evil I told you that, and you're like "yeah that's so fucking funny".

Jayme falls back against the wall laughing as Crystal doubles over laughing.

Boyfriend: This is priceless.


Jayme: (laughing) but it's not funny right. (Crystal has her arm rested on the "pillow" which is white with a blue stripe checking her phone). Look, you're even resting on it and I told you to get rid of it...didn't I say?

Crystal throws the pillow over the bed onto the floor. However the room they are in has one of those round windows which is roughly 30" in diameter. The window is closed, I'm not sure they even open.

Jayme: Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh overboard......watch.......bec......because .......... the leprechauns are.....they kill they fucking hate that color.


Crystal falls onto the bed face first laughing.

Boyfriend: Leprechauns?

Jayme: Their not in the rainbow.....(laughing).... those fucking leprechauns they fucking know.

Boyfriend: Are you going to fall over baby?

Jayme: Noooooooo, because why?

Boyfriend: Why?

Jayme: (pointing at Crystal) because you know why did you see that leprechaun? ....... (laughing)

Boyfriend: Did he steal the colors honey?


Jayme: no no no they are back now because we got rid of that stupid fucking thing (pointing to the window where she thinks the pillow went out) in the wrong color.

Boyfriend: Do we need to chuck the pillow out the door?

Jayme: (looking at Crystal) It's overboard right?

Crystal: Yes, yes yes.

Boyfriend: You threw the pillow overboard?

Crystal: It's overboard.


Jayme: If I ... the pillow...if the wrong color is not with us right....now the leprechaun (laughs hysterically).

Boyfriend: Tell the story Crystal.

Crystal: It's overboard.....

Jayme: Watch, the leprechaun (pointing to the door) is going to come in (points to the bed) waaaaaaaaaaatch (points back to the door).

Boyfriend: Oh no.

Jayme: You know what? He has a green hat....and a little red beard...and he fucking skips along....

Crystal is laughing so hard she is making those sucking sounds people make when they can't breathe.

Boyfriend: Is he the little fucker on the box of Lucky Charms?

Jayme: Yeah yeah yeah yeah that's the dude that's the dude right? What's he say?

Boyfriend: They are magically delicious.


Jayme laughs and then immediately stops and gathers her thought(s).

Jayme: Ok... that's not funny anymore.

Boyfriend: No really it is.

Jayme: Really?

Crystal: Dude, I got rid of the pillow.

Boyfriend moving around the bed to pick up the pillow off the floor.


Boyfriend: The pillow, look. It's over here. Look look look we are looking. (Boyfriend picks up the pillow) there is the pillow right there.

Jayme (laughing) noooooooooooo it's still the wrong color.

The Boyfirend walks back toward the other side of the bed which leads to the bathroom and the door. Both Jayme and Crystal drop to all fours and crawl away from the pillow as fast as they can. Crystal makes it to the bathroom while Jayme drops face first onto the floor laughing so hard she can't talk. Crystal shuts the bathroom door and hysterical laughter can be heard from outside.

Jayme: You seeeeeeeeeeeeeee. He's got the wrong color aaaaaagghhhhhh.

Crystal cracks open the bathroom door, still on all fours peeking out to see the pillow being held by the Boyfriend. The boyfriend stops short of the door and turns around with the camera to see Jayme in a downward facing dog position laughing.

Boyfirend: I have the fucking pillow, see check it out.

Jayme and Crystal scream and laugh hysterically.

Jayme: Honeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy nooooooooooooooooo.


Jayme tries to get up but falls back down on the floor - face down laughing hysterically. Crystal has again locked herself in the bathroom laughing.The Boyfriend throws the pillow outside the room in the corridor and leaves the door open.

Boyfriend: I threw the pillow outside. I did. Look.

Jayme: No nooooooooooooooo

Crystal cracks the bathroom door laughing.

Crystal: I have to take a shit. If she makes me laugh that hard one more time...

Boyfriend: You're going to blow a colon?

Crystal: I'm going to shit my pants.

Bathroom door closes.

And with that is the end of the video. There was a lot more that happened but nothing that tops this.