Thursday, May 26, 2011

Equal opportunity arrest?

I'm in Henderson (Nevada) which is a ritzy suburb of Vegas right now for my kids graduation. I love Vegas and being I used to live here, my buddy and my girl and I hit a local watering hole following the festivities. We proceeded to drink a lot - the bartender is a friend of ours (thanks Jared) and over the course of the evening was regaled with a tale that is so fucking odd it has to be true. To add to the authenticity, both of the folks involved were sitting next to us.Here it is - true story.

Their names (which are changed) are Rudi and Noodle. These cats are in their mid thirties and have been best friends since childhood. They live, work and drink together.

A week or so ago Rudi and Noodle attended a beer festival held in the parking lot adjacent to our local watering hole. Needless to say both proceeded to get hammered drunk. When the festival had concluded Noodle and Rudi made their way through the parking lot over to the local watering hole.

An hour (and several cocktails) later Noodle and Rudi were asked to leave the bar, not because they were shit faced in as much as they were arguing about the validity of Pythagoras' theorem.Actually I have no idea what the fuck they were arguing about.

This local bar has stairs which access the rooftop bar we drink in addition to a bar / restaurant downstairs. Stairs are a bitch for fucked up folks, and that's where shit got interesting for them on this fateful morning.

When leaving, Noodle and Rudi proceed to get into an argument on the stairs following their departure from the upstairs / rooftop bar. There was finger pointing, drunken yelling and eventually a pushing and shoving match ensued. Being the bar is in Henderson the police arrived in about 30 seconds.

Once the cops showed up, both Noodle and Rudi were separated and questioned as to the genesis of their argument, or as the Henderson police saw it, fight. Both were forced to show their ID's and the police figured out they lived together, hence making the incident a "domestic" argument.

Noodle was thrown in jail on Domestic Violence charges immediately, even though both (in their inebriated states) swore they were not lovers or romantically involved. The Henderson Police Department wasn't buying their pleas and incarcerated Noodle.

Rudi, now stuck at the bar with no ride home began to walk home, as they only live a few blocks from the bar. He was stopped by one of the same officers who had responded to the call and again questioned as to what he was doing - which apparently included jaywalking. Rudi was issues a ticket and proceeded on his way to the 7-11 to get a snack as the convenience store was on his way home.

After purchasing a pizza and a Big Gulp, Rudi leaves the store and proceeds to leave the parking lot, which is on a corner with a traffic light. Bear in mind it is 3:30AM. Rudi pushed the walk button so as not to jaywalk again. There isn't any traffic, and several minutes pass with out any change in the light / cross walk indicator.

After another few minutes the light changes to red and the "walk" signal is flashing allowing Rudi to cross legally. Rudi gets roughly halfway across the street when another Henderson Police car pulls up to the red light and stops. By the time Rudi reaches the other side of the road, and is within a rocks throw of his front door, the police car flips the light on and pulls up to Rudi on the wrong side of the road.

Rudi is forced to throw his pizza away and is questioned as to why he is out at the late hour. Rudi explains his story hoping the police will appreciate his dilemma and at very least give him a ride the rest of his way home.

NOPE!

Rudi is arrested for public intoxication and taken to jail where he is put into a cell with.......you guessed it, his buddy Noodle.

I met both of these dudes last night, and it was easy to see why Noodle got arrested. He was blasted last night, and while he was friendly and pleasant to us - he proceeded to retreat to the first floor bar and explain the finer points of video poker to the players - who weren't amused by his antics in the least. He was again asked to leave, and he did. Alone.

I would like to point out the extreme obvious. If a police department has nothing better to do than harass drunks arguing outside a bar, you are in a great community with a nonexistent crime rate. If the same police department incarcerates two dudes in the same cell, one of which was arrested for domestic violence against the other, at the same time - well then perhaps the community isn't so safe? Who is protecting the public from police stupidity in Henderson, Nevada?

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