Sounds like the emptying of a Mexican septic tank - and how ironic it is actually happening in Mexico as well as the US. Orange County, Arizona and yes, that little shit hole to the south of us - Mexico are all experiencing these irritating fucking times of not having power. But why fucking report it? The poor bastards sweating their asses off certainly can't see the news unless they have a generator hooked up to the old Direct TV, and it's not a given that those cats have even paid their satellite bill anyway.
What used to happen in the old days when men were men and women, well men were men? It got hot in Arizona and southern California. Did all the pets die then because of the heat? Did old people drop like buckets of shit due to an infusion of sweat? It all seems so trivial to me.
This is the lead story here in LA - probably because our air conditioners are WORKING. There are the inevitable minority women reporters on TV telling viewers to have over half a tank of fuel in your car - you know just in case. In case of what? If I need to cool down I will head to the beach and that big body of water. What's it called again? Oh yeah, the ocean.
How would you get there if there were no power? Last I checked the heel toe express ran on grub, not gasoline. You can't swing a dead cat in LA without hitting a fucking stolen bicycle chained harmlessly to a park bench - so borrow it. If the human spirit is strong enough, and the brain doesn't fuck it up with the laziness gene, then all will be fine.
This power outtage happens every year when it gets got down here and yet people are still worried about it. I can't wait for the fires to come and then the rains will wash away the homes some morons just rebuilt on the side of a fucking hill - all while crying to camera crews that they have just lost everything.
That statement alone shows how stupid these people really are. They didn't lose anything, their address just changed to one street west. All of their stupid artwork and whatnot is still inside of the modernistic cement bearing walls they call a house. I heard one lady ask what she was going to feed her kids - really? Because her power went out she couldn't figure out the formula for PBand J - and I'm supposed to feel bad for these fuckers? Uh uh!
I am proposing a new reality show. It's called America has dummies. Ozzy can sit on the board of judges because, well, he is Ozzy. Adam Corolla and the hot chick from Californication could round out the group. The goal would be to find the dumbest "family" on the planet based on their stupid decisions and personal loss. You know, "grandma died because we couldn't open her Ensure without a can opener." Anybody ever heard of twist tops?
If all these other stupid fucking shows keep turning up and maintaining audiences (Billy the exterminator, Hoarders, infants in beauty pageants blah blah blah) - then my show has merit. And besides, where else but Hollywood can you get paid for being stupid.
My bad, I forgot about corporate America and their philosophy of promoting the fucking stupid ones, or failing upwards as I like to call it. You build a house below sea level, it will flood. You build a house on a volcano, it will burn. You build your house on the polar ice caps, Al Gore says they will melt. You live on the eastern seaboard, welcome to hurricane alley.
My point is this, there is no safe place on this planet. Accept it and quit televising the fucking morons who forgot this, and that life just isn't fair. Have a nice day!!!
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