Monday, June 27, 2011

Flashmob intellect

Flashmobs are the latest in a long line of new and improved methods of mayhem. The mobs I refer to are a group of young people who get together and decide to shoplift and hurt store employees on a grand scale - in other words 10 or more juveniles enter an establishment and create chaos while taking the merchandise they want.

I read that one of these mobs assembled and took over a McDonalds restaurant. For what? A Big Mac and fries? The interesting part is it took the cops 3 hours to restore order before the place could re-open. I can hear the interviews now

Policeman: Mam, can you describe the burger in question?

Employee: It had two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese on a sesame seed bun.

Policeman: Were there any distinguishing features about the burger?

Employee: It had extra onions on it.

Seriously, either the kids today are considerably more stupid than their parents were at that age, or XBox is losing its appeal. Who risks going to jail for a fucking filet-o-fish?

Apparently this phenomenon is getting worse, happening more often and becoming more violent. But, if you were to give this some thought wouldn't a jewelry store make a little more sense?

It reminds me of these dummies in Utah that rob pharmacies at gunpoint, just for Oxycontin. Dude, the cash register is right fucking there. You know, where they keep the money?

I am going to go ahead and assume that jails and prisons are going to continue to be overcrowded based on the fact that criminals are getting dumber by the generation.

However, the first time one of these flashmobs goes into an establishment where the dude behind the counter has a shotgun, the fad will pass and maybe some of these fuckers will start playing hide and seek on the freeway.

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