The Bag Controversy

Here in the great state of California, state and local governments are broke. Roads have potholes the size of small children, there is a significant amount of garbage on the freeways, DMVs are shutting down 1 day a week - and some unincorporated areas of LA county are concerned with plastic bags.

You know, those fucking nuisance containers you bring your groceries home in? The state wants to ban them, altogether, forever, in perpetuity because they are not biodegradable. The solution is to charge no less than 5 cents for paper bags, or even better, pay for reusable bags you get to tote around with you.

I mean what the fuck is one to do when you get the call from the wife saying, "hey, we need milk, bread, eggs and cereal", and the reusable bags are in her car? I suppose we are going to pay the extra cash for the privilege of procuring food, and we still have the same fucking problem.

What the fuck is next, the soup companies going to charge us for the soup AND the can?

This issue is just a microcosm of the fucked up policy makers here in California, and their stupidity generally spreads throughout the country - going viral if you will.

Here is an idea - how about you quit worrying about them bags that are filling up that bottom drawer in the kitchen and concentrate on lowering the 10% sales tax we GET to pay on shit. Better yet, feel free to fill  in the potholes, maybe even with the excess of paper bags that are causing so much concern. If those fuckers are so indestructible, then perhaps they should be put to good use.

The world was a simpler place before there were choices, such as paper or plastic? Henry Ford had the right idea when it came to giving his customers too many choices - "you can have the car in any color you want, so long as it's black". I wonder if old Henry would go with paper or plastic?

The Romney 5

Yup, how surprising presidential candidate Mitt (who names their kid after a baseball glove anyway? does he have a brother named Facemask?) has 5 children. After all, the dude is mormon. Mitt is sealed to his betrothed for eternity - according to his theology. Sure hope she doesn't piss him off in this lifetime or the afterlife will see him building a split celestial level mansion so dude won't have to deal with her.

In the mormon religion, the congregation members refer to each other as "brother so and so" and "sister so and so" - why? I have no fucking idea. Seems creepy to me, especially when the bishop is sticking it to another members wife. And wasn't some dudes wife referred to as his "sister" before they were married and welded at the hip?

So of the 5 Romney boys, not one served in the military. Myself, along with most others didn't serve in the military either - BUT, we don't spend our time trying to convert others to believe our theological fairy tale and then run for the most powerful position on the planet.  It's tantamount to trying to convince a grown ass man the Tooth Fairy is real, and asking for his vote.

When asked why none of his kids served in the armed forces, Mitt replied that his boys are serving their country now by working his campaign. What a crock of shit. I would bet a testicle that every one of his kids went on their LDS (church) missions for two years, and then went to college.

Then they married their aforementioned sisters, allegedly. Nepotism and incest has a new face, and it is the family portrait of the Romney's.

The shitty thing is this cat is leading the polls for the republican representative and could ultimately become the president - not because he is so fucking qualified. Not because he is enlightened. If he becomes president it will be because Obama has done such a shit job.

Just think, if Romney makes it into office, and ends up doinking some White House bimbo it will be the beginning of another reality show called "Big Presidential Love". No impeachment, just polygamy.

Get ready America, all kinds of shit will change if this cat gets into office. The cabinet will forever be referred to the quorum. Twice a year the dude will address the nation from downtown Salt Lake City in what will probably be billed as the "National Conference".

You can also expect a "quorum", er, cabinet filled with Mormons. And Mo's, like the Taliban think women are subordinate to men (as they cannot hold the priesthood) and the rest of the world should believe the way they do. They are not militant - YET.

The ONLY reason polygamy was banned by the Mo's was to gain statehood. Is this the kind of dude we want running the world? Shitty thing is I'm not sure there is a better alternative. 

Extra Life?

I have been hearing a lot lately about websites which give a fucking moron an "alternate" life. I say fucking moron because who would want an another version of themselves? All of us have faults, and to pay some administrator for the privilege of exhibiting the same idiosyncrasies as a different "person" seems retarded, not to mention redundant.

There was an episode of one of them "news" shows like Dateline or 60 minutes where the creator of one of these sites was interviewed. This twisted fuck not only had an alternate self, he had an entire virtual family of sick twisted fuckers. Half of this dudes existence was spent in the virtual world fucking, that's right, fucking his virtual teenage daughter.

Now I am not a shrink, and I don't play one on TV - but this sounds like a holler, yelp, screech (ad whatever euphemism applies) for "I need help cause I want to fuck my kid". Of course dude and his wife say it's all harmless entertainment. When was the last time screwing your kid was harmless or entertaining?

While this dude plays it off as fantasy, there are certain boundaries, if you will, that are not to be crossed. I mean never, ever, ever, ever, ever, never. This bitch pole vaulted over it, albeit in the virtual world.  Even money says this cat gets nailed for screwing some underage kid before he dies.

If a pedophile attracts underage kids online and engages in lewd, crude or just plain nasty dialogue the dude gets taken to the clink. So, where is the line drawn on what is acceptable? Not only from a moral perspective but from the father of the kid opposite the pedophile perspective - who most likely would like to use this sick bastards head as a jack-o-lantern and light the candle.

I suppose video games aren't all that much different, but when my nephew told me he paid real money for money to be used in a video game to buy virtual weapons, i sent him straight to the stupid pile of people I know. So, anybody who wants to buy some monopoly cash I have some available for .50 cents on the dollar.

Far be it from me to tell anyone how to spend / waste their time. I am an NFL junkie and log serious hours during the season.  But, the NFL is real human drama - live. How do I know? Because Vegas allows you to bet on it. When was the last time Vegas, who will take bets on pretty much anything conceivable, allowed action on Second Life or World of Warcraft?

Flashmob intellect

Flashmobs are the latest in a long line of new and improved methods of mayhem. The mobs I refer to are a group of young people who get together and decide to shoplift and hurt store employees on a grand scale - in other words 10 or more juveniles enter an establishment and create chaos while taking the merchandise they want.

I read that one of these mobs assembled and took over a McDonalds restaurant. For what? A Big Mac and fries? The interesting part is it took the cops 3 hours to restore order before the place could re-open. I can hear the interviews now

Policeman: Mam, can you describe the burger in question?

Employee: It had two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese on a sesame seed bun.

Policeman: Were there any distinguishing features about the burger?

Employee: It had extra onions on it.

Seriously, either the kids today are considerably more stupid than their parents were at that age, or XBox is losing its appeal. Who risks going to jail for a fucking filet-o-fish?

Apparently this phenomenon is getting worse, happening more often and becoming more violent. But, if you were to give this some thought wouldn't a jewelry store make a little more sense?

It reminds me of these dummies in Utah that rob pharmacies at gunpoint, just for Oxycontin. Dude, the cash register is right fucking there. You know, where they keep the money?

I am going to go ahead and assume that jails and prisons are going to continue to be overcrowded based on the fact that criminals are getting dumber by the generation.

However, the first time one of these flashmobs goes into an establishment where the dude behind the counter has a shotgun, the fad will pass and maybe some of these fuckers will start playing hide and seek on the freeway.

Taking out God

NBC in their finite wisdom ran an edited version of the Pledge of Allegiance before their coverage of the US open last week. The words "under God" and "indivisible" are mysteriously removed from the NBC versions.

This has to be a sign of our fucked up politically correct, hope nobody gets offended, please don't have the ACLU sue us world we live in. How stupid is this?

Consider for one minute removing phrases of famous pop songs - Beat It would become just "Beat", and although Michael "pedophile" Jackson was never convicted - his career would have taken a different trajectory with a song called "Beat". The same could be said for "Billie Jean". Billie is not my lover - sure Mike. Little Billie probably is your pin cushion.

How stupid would the Ozzy Osbourne song Crazy Train be without the "crazy"? A song called train? Those connotations need no explanation.

I could go on and on but the point has been made - don't fuck with song lyrics. Vains of Jenna recently covered the Celo song "Fuck You" and omitted the word "nigger" from their version of the song. Stupid, and offensive to the songwriter, but the cultural rules for who can use what words is another topic for another day.

NBC is all about making money: samoleans, casholies, dollars. I know it's a stretch NBC, but feel free to look at ANY US paper currency and read the text. No, not the e plurbus unum part, the "In God We Trust" part. When you start running a non profit network, you can be stylish. Until then you are just a bunch of assholes - sorry, fucking assholes!

Pilot Hole

On a Southwest flight from Austin to San Diego back in March, the pilots hit altitude and decided to have a chat amongst themselves. Or, one pilot talked while the other pilots listened.

So the conversation in the cockpit gets around to the flight attendants - and how fat, or gay, or old they are. The pilot went on to comment on the rash of ugly chicks in Houston and how it is the ugliest base, period. He also said he fucking hates homosexuals, 100% of them.

Now the pilot does, or should have freedom of speech - except when his rant was broadcast? Not only was his rant broadcast across the airwaves, it was also heard inside the cabin of the plane thanks to a stuck microphone. An air traffic controller tried to bleep out the tirade, which lasted for over two minutes while blocking other communication with aircraft and crews.

So the FAA gets hold of the "tapes", which it turns over to Southwest. There was nothing actually illegal in what this dude said. Southwest, bless their hearts, suspended the pilot and sent him for diversity training. Now dude is back to flying the friendly skies.

I am confused as to who is at fault, and if this cat did anything wrong?

So the guy doesn't like homosexuals? Big deal, lots of folks don't like gays, lesbians and transwhatevers. Not a crime.

The guy doesn't like fat people? Again, not a crime. However, being fat, unlike being gay is a choice. Don't believe me - look for a fat dude in a third world country struck with famine. 

Old people - well we are all going to be old or dead. That's just the reality of things.

One cats opinion on any of these conditions isn't that big of a deal. Who loves them some ugly and fat?

Our society loves thin and sexy. It sells, It's compelling, although I did catch a show a while back called 600 pound mother - wherein a 600+ pound woman laid in her bed, ate fried chicken and Chinese takeout and cried because she was fat. Perhaps there is a shift in our collective thinking about fat folks? The media can exploit anyone who goes too far, too fat, too poor, too rich, too old, too?

What did this pilot really learn? Are his ideals and years of indoctrination suddenly changed? Shit no. This dude is Joe Blow who got caught saying what a vast majority of the public thinks - whether it's politically correct or not.

We as a society need to toughen up and quit being so fucking sensitive about what others think or, God forbid, say. If you are gay, chances are you will catch some shit (no pun intended). If you are fat, put down the feedbag. Feel free to meet up with a treadmill sometime soon. If you are old, tell us all to fuck off!

Death penalty for Arsonists

Terrorists, er, insurgents create all kinds of mayhem. All with the idea of draining resources and causing an air of fear and uncertainty. Sure, those fuckers who drove planes into the WTC were effective, but if I'm the head of a terrorist organization bent on fucking with the US, on our own soil, I'm going for subtle.

Natural disasters or acts of God are blameless events causing death and destruction the world over. Here at home in the US, flooding and tornadoes have been the disaster du jour, until recently. There is nothing specific that man can do to act as a catalyst for these happenings, and very little that can be done to stop them. Mitigation is really the only defense. Can't blame the weather on Hamas can we?

However, if I was in a terrorist think tank I would take the approach of initiating what APPEARS to be a natural disaster, or stupid human accident, and sit back and watch the carnage. The fires in Arizona come to mind.

We all know the border between Mexico and the US is for all intents and purposes a joke. It's porous and the stupid bastards who get caught coming across should be shot on general principle alone. A Garmin, a decent pair of cross trainers and average intelligence will get you a one way ticket to the good old US of A.

That said, starting wildfires is a great way to distract authorities at all levels, not to mention draining state and federal resources to combat the fires while creating fear and civil unrest. Every summer there is a "fire season" and why wouldn't a terrorist organization want to ride that train?

I'm not condoning the idea, but it has to be taken somewhat seriously. Political correctness and personal sensitivities aside the agenda of these fuckers is to kill and destroy. They are not all going to wear their rags on their heads with a gas can and lighters saying "here I am".

Something is seriously wrong with the general state of things when the federal government has the forethought and resources to post signs in the southern Arizona warning Americans that the homeland just ain't safe for them to enjoy due to the high number of illegals that cross there. Really? Feel free to fix the potholes on the 101 when you guys get done making the desert safe for the illegals.



530,000 acres have been burned since the fire started and is only 60% contained. The official guess as to how the fire started is being deemed as "human" although an investigation is ongoing. If I'm head insurgent in charge I call that a win!

This is a legitimate problem, and one that will continue to get worse in all parts of the country. It's terrorism 101 - the problem as I see it in terms of retribution is this - it takes a big fucking bomb to get sand to burn.

Mormons in the White House?

Having been born in Utah, and lived there for over 20 years without becoming indoctrinated into the prevalent religion, I have a unique perspective on the mormon dudes running for President of the US in 2012. I have to preface my opinion by saying I couldn't see Obama winning the office in 2008, just because of history - and it's not called the White House for nothing.

That said, there are some inherent hurdles both Mormon candidates (Huntsman and Romney) have. The religion is relatively new by way of comparison to mainstream Christianity and Catholicism. The "non-fundamentalists" sects of these religions are shrouded in secrecy. This is going to become an issue. Mormons are very much like the Scientologists in terms of their secrets. If you are not part of the club, wearing the jammies, paying your 10% and performing your temple work you will not be privileged to what goes on inside of these golden temples.

Wonder how Huntsman or Romney could explain pulling your kids, or other family members through the magic curtain? How do the terrestrial, celestial and telestial levels of the afterlife breakdown? Who goes where? Committing good works are considered heavily, sort of like effort in little league, when deciding where one will end up according to the Mormon theology. But these cats don't like the crucifix? Hmmmm

Black folks have only been able to hold the priesthood in the recent past within the LDS ranks, with women being very subservient and definitely not allowed to hold the priesthood. That will be a tough nut to fucking crack, let alone put into a casserole. Oh yeah, Jello is a big fucking deal to these people.

Glenn Beck is a Mormon, and quite honestly it's hard for me to understand how such a pragmatist believes in golden trumpets, Moroni and the fact that during the semi-annual conference weekend the "gay bars" are packed to capacity with church members. This is FACT, not opinion. Gay Mormon kids are killing themselves instead of being shamed themselves, or an embarrassment to their families.

The Mormon church didn't make any friends out here in California when they single-handedly mobilized enough resources to contact every household in the state - either in person or over the phone to let people know that gay people should not be allowed to legally marry. Hence prop 8 was defeated.

One has to wonder to what end the church wanted to become that involved in a California issue? Being as those fuckers have the fundamentalists in Colorado City living the real "Big Life" scenario. There are other "families" living plural in plural marriage "compounds" around the Wasatch Front (SLC area). The west side of Utah Lake and Little Cottonwood canyon are areas where high fences keep peering eyes out. Yet local and state officials leave them alone. Splain that Mr. Huntsman....

The reality is that the Mormons still whole heartedly believe in polygamy - and gave it up only to gain statehood. Put a Mormon in the White House? It could give new meaning to second, third and fourth ladies.

Beauty is in the membership

Greg Hodge, managing director of the website beautifulpeople.com is either a pure fucking genius or the dumbest hypocrite in LA.

Apparently, the aforementioned site is a place where "the beautiful" people can go to meet, greet, screw, make deals, network and exchange exfoliation secrets with other like minded pretty folks. It's similar to eharmony and other fuck sites - except there is an element of physical beauty required - that has to pass an allegedly objective test. Pretty is pretty, perhaps. But pretty is a subjective term.

The requirements to gain membership to the site is for prospective members to fill out some forms and submit photos. Then, other "members" vote on whether to accept the pledging prospects as full blown members. Sounds more like a popularity contest than a fuck site. I'm wondering if there is an ongoing review committee to oversee current members weight, scars and especially the ministry of ink to give their input on tattoos. I bet those fuckers are busy right after New Years with all that eating and shit?

It does however raise the question - who voted on the initial members? I have seen pictures of the two founders of the company, Robert Hintze and Greg Hodge. These two would have a hard time getting on an E-ride at Disneyland let alone being in any position to tell somebody else they are unpleasant to look at. Good thing those cats own the company because there is no way they would have made the cut - just on height alone.

So somebody developed a virus to disrupt the acceptance part of the sights application, rendering some 30,000 new members to bypass the "official" process. Now, these folks, well they're no longer eligible. All due to due to their look and or weight. Of course the membership fees were returned and, wait for it, the shunned ugly peeps were encouraged to apply again.

How many of the fat, uglies will reapply?

The owners Bob and Greg hope all will.....both of these cats look fucking dumb. I'm willing to bet that neither one of them is self made. One, or both of these dudes had a trust fund and between bong hits on a slow Thursday came up with the idea. Has stupid been successful in the past? Yup.Does stupid have longevity? Nope.

I think the business idea these guys have is a rip off from Porsche - scarcity creates a demand and the supply is intentionally low. That said, Porsche makes sexy cars. These guys, well made a vulnerable web site. The business model is good, but short sighted and a pissed off geek with a laptop living in his mom's basement can crush you whenever he feels like it.

To the owners Bob and Greg, feel free to look like men - straight men, unless you're not. You can buy gay clothes, plugs, fake tans and even get therapy. But, height will always escape you both. 

You want to see a beautiful person, walk through Hollywood on a Friday night - but be warned. Just because it has boobs doesn't mean it sits down to pee.

Junk Science

The sun is going into decline (allegedly) according to a group of scientists who met in New Mexico earlier this week. The sun apparently behaves in cycles lasting 11 years, or not. This also coming out of the scientific community related to the conference. These cats are like weatherman - "maybe this is going to happen, maybe not. But it could, maybe". Nothing like some on the fence ambiguity to lead a conference!

My problem with all of this nonsensical rhetoric is this: there is an inevitability to the universe and the shit that makes it up. Hence, if the sun is going to misbehave there really isn't a fucking thing anybody outside of God can do about it. When the lights go out, it's game over. It's not like there is a magic switch that can be turned back on.

If the sun were to actually burn out, or fail to create light, and heat, it would take all of 8 minutes for the last rays of the sun to reach earth before total darkness befalls us. Life would fail to exist. As dreary as this sounds there aren't any proactive actions that can be taken to avoid such an event. So why worry?

The moon, which controls the tides and maintains the earth's axis is getting farther and farther away from earth each year - something like 12 feet a year. This may not sound like much, but over thousands of years this may cause a problem, and again: what the fuck can be done about it?

My nephew says the world is going to end next December because dude buys into the Myan theocracy. I tried to explain to him that the Myans were eliminated from the face of the planet, and he wants to plan his future based on their prognostications?

Life has an endless supply of uncertain circumstances which continue to occur regardless of our hopes, feelings, fears, beliefs or aspirations. Isn't worrying about shit over which there is no control a fucking waste of time? I'm thinking it is.

So go ahead and run with the pointy end of the scissors facing up, eat the apples you get at Halloween, drink from the garden hose, don't bother with bicycle helmets and puuuuuuhlease quit drinking diet soda - it tastes like shit.

Social Lubricant

The art of lying. It is taught to CIA employees, government officials are good, sometimes great at it. Kids come by it naturally. Careers have been made being able to spot it. Lying is the social grease that allows shit to get done. I will put you an example.

Obama ran his last campaign on "hope and change". This was a lie. Bill Clinton said he didn't have sex in the oval office, at least on the predication that sex involved vaginal penetration. He lied. I'm sure millions of people were asked this morning how they are, and a shitload of them said "fine" - another lie.

But who wants to take a potential "smalltalk" scenario and make a big fucking deal about it? If someone who isn't crucial to your well being asks you how you are, it would be a social faux pas to say much other than "fine". Anything other than some positive statement leads to the divulging of information which is none of the other persons business. If a negative answer is given, followed by no explanation then low and behold you appear to be an asshole - or hung over.

The sad irony to lying, especially in government is we all know it happens. The rules for human interaction don't all of the sudden change in the confines of public office. However, there seems to be an unspoken rule about lying to the public - never admit it. Ever!

Secretary of defense Robert Gates was called to a congressional hearing and I can only assume that because dude is on his way out of the job he felt compelled to be, well, honest. Here is his quote:

"First of all I would say based on 27 years in the CIA, and four and a half years in this job, most governments lie to each other. That's the way business gets done". It is so hard not to love this guy! But a strange contradiction exists even at the upper levels in government. For instance you can lie to the police with impunity, but lying to the feds is a crime. Go figure.

The Wienergate fiasco is another perfect example.

Mr. Wiener lied, no question. He admitted he lied, which coming from a liar is another subject altogether. That said, why is it acceptable for our, my government to lie to anyone and everyone about God knows what, and then persecute a guy for doing it? All he did was take their game and go pro...

It reminds me of a PSA that ran several years ago where the dad finds out his son is a junkie. When asked where he ever learned to do drugs, the son screams at his father, "I learned it from watching you".

No wonder the rest of the world despises us.

Dausible Pleniability

The President says he knows nothing about operation Fast and Furious. Sure he doesn't - kiddies this is what is known as "plausible deniability" and it is just another monicker for a politician saying, "I am soooo fucked". Regardless of who knew, green lighted or approved the idea, the premise was faulty from the beginning.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the operation, the short version is the ATF thought they could track assault weapons after they were sold to "legal" dudes in the US to the cartels in Mexico. What they thought they were going to do with the guns, or the amigos who had them in Mexico still escapes me. But more on that later.

The ATF, under Obama's alleged plausible deniability, and the watchful eyes of the Justice Department, approaches gun dealers in Arizona and encourages them to sell assault weapons to "suspected" gun smugglers. Now, I'm all about guns. Owning them. Shooting them. Cleaning them and the like. However, if my brother bought 50 plus assault rifles I would be like, "hey dude where is the fucking war". Buying 50 or 100 assault weapons is not against the law, nor should it be, ever. But, the light goes on after, I don't know 10 or 15 perhaps?

Regardless the ATF kept records of which Mexican Americans along with other various upstanding citizens bought these guns and, allegedly, followed them to the hands of drug cartel employees in Mexico. Operation is going well but to what end, right?

Eventually a border patrol and ICE officer were killed (shot) with one of these guns. Whoa, didn't see that one coming. Now the republicans are all over this and the Justice department, along with the Attorney General and the Obama dude himself are all saying they were not aware of this operation, nor was it approved.

Don't be disillusioned by the rhetoric, this is just another political dance which leads to nowhere. The Kansas City shuffle  if you will. The trick of the great Houdini - watch this hand while I reach around and fuck you with the big stick I have in the other hand. Metaphoric, but you get the point, right?

The real problem is very similar to the problem (allegedly) the federal government has with drugs. Neither guns, nor drugs, all by themselves without some human interaction kill people. Dummies with guns or drugs kill people - quite often themselves. This is what we call attrition and it isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Look how the "war" on drugs is going.....

Sure there are innocent people eradicated occasionally, and that sucks. Collateral damage is a reality of the world we live in, as is cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure and receding hair lines. All that can be hoped for is to mitigate the damage. But by and large if those in charge of the guns and drugs kept better care of their hobbies / addictions the world would be a safer place. And that doesn't mean gun control for Americans. How dare the government legislate my right, ability or inclination to shoot back?

I again would make a plea to the President - please take out the big guns. Please! If the border with Mexico is a problem, send some planes over and fix it. Initiate the DEATH PENALTY for illegal immigrants. No questions, no trials, one bullet. This solution may seem radical but what is more vital to the national security of this country? Not hurting the feelings or infringing on the human rights or God forbid stepping on the delicate sensibilities of illegal immigrants? Or maintaining the borders and taking care of our own?

Unfortunately it will probably take a serious attack with significant loss of life on US soil in order for the government to adopt the attitude of fuck the rest of the world and quit worrying about the feelings of those who wish to destroy us.

Finally, to the people who think up the names for these operations, military or otherwise, feel free to not recycle the names of Hollywood sequels. Be original!

Federal Garbage Men

Who would of thunk it? That illustrious position within the federal government such as "agent", with the ever changing title like "special" or "lead" now can include "refuse inspector", "refuse solicitor" as well as "the one who puts the shredded pieces back together".

Yup, that's right people, the feds now have the right, neh, privilege of rummaging through your trash in order to ascertain whether you are a threat to the American way of life. I'm assuming that avocado pits and old pasta is going to be a sign of something - but what?

What wanna be terrorist worth his weight in sand would nonchalantly toss his diabolical plan to destroy the US and take over the world in a hefty sack? A bad one and the feds catch those dummies all the time.

This really leads one to question what those trash horkers are after, and I think I might have it.

Obama has fucked up the economy (which was fucked up when Bush was at the wheel too) and has told some 14,000 feds to go fetch all of the bottles and cans that are tossed each week, pull them out and take em in for their recycle cash. Sure dummy, that will solve the deificit.

Problem is, at least in our neighborhood in Burbank, there is an organized refuse hierarchy and the popo isn't on the list. Said group could potentially be militant if provoked, and the feds aren't going to score any points shooting some homeless cat while trying to liberate cans and bottles from my trash can.

I'm hoping America will initiate a death penalty for terrorists. These fuckers want to be martyrs, here is the match and the gasoline. By the way, televised PPV death sentences of insurgents / terrorists could potentially alleviate the cash crisis the US now has, in addition to being a pretty strong deterrent to the remainder of the world. After the first few public (sort of) executions nobody would care about the "martyr" bullshit. Nobody would remember their names unless eyes are popping out of skulls or internal organs are exploding.

Shit the Vegas line on how long a given death takes, as the over / under in minutes (or seconds if electricity is employed) could be a family affair. Restaurants would be opened - monuments built.

The downside is the rest of the world won't like us? Big fucking deal they don't like us now anyway. Sure they say they do, but really?

It may not be a perfect idea (few are) but it has merit. It's solid, self sufficient and those crazy turban wearing fuckers will think twice before blowing up a train or bridge or whatever is next. Besides, the NFL may not have a season this year - what will we do on Sundays this fall?

Florida Math

It's tough on Fridays to find the corn nugget in the pile of proverbial shit. Sometimes I have to take what is offered without getting too uptight about how relevant said topic or subject may be. That said, some kinds of stupid cannot be ignored. That special sort of dumb is too easy, too fragile and is one of those cats that has been lapped but still believes they are winning the race. God bless the idiots of this world, without which life would be less entertaining.

In case you haven't heard there is a tenuous trial being held in Florida for this woman who killed, allegedly, her toddler kid and threw the body in the woods. The Casey Anthony trial is being billed as the largest event of its kind since the OJ Simpson disaster of the early nineties. The only reason anybody remembers that piece of shit made for TV trial is because the dude was found NOT GUILTY, when everybody but the jury members knew the dude was a liar. Yet he walked. But stupid abides - and several years later OJ sits in a Nevada prison for threatening some sports memorabilia hack. Karma is nothing more than coincidence mixed with irony.

So back to Florida, where the locals line up every morning to get into the trial. Why? Perhaps to say they were there? Maybe it's to blog about it and sell some semblance of the story? Maybe it's just because people are fucking stupid, which at least some of these cats are. The rules are simple, the first 50 members of the public get in. When there is 100 people in the line, well anybody outside of Florida with a 3rd grade education can do this simple equation. Shit, this isn't even long division.

It gets better though. Someone toward the rear of the line, let's say person number 78 for the sake of this argument, has some asshole cut in line. Then, you guessed it, a fight breaks out. Well maybe not a proper fight but a scuffle with lots of pushing and shoving.

I have to ask why? What are they fighting over? Battle for last place? Who doesn't get the prize? What the fuck is wrong with these people? 51 is the same as dead fucking last in this line."No I want to be more insignificant than you". Like I said, a special kind of stupid.....

The Florida public school system is ranked 8th nationally, which either says a shitload for the ranking system or absolutely nothing for the states which ranked ahead of 8th place. Way to go Florida, we are all dumber for the experience and this trial is nowhere near done.

When I take 50 from 100 and the answer is anything other than 50, it's time to head to Florida for my hospice care. I like being the smartest cat in the room.

Mexican attrition

It turns out that drug and alcohol rehab facilities are not all 12 steps, puppies, hopes and rainbows. Nope, especially if you find yourself inside of a Mexican rehab facility. That which was once a safe haven, or sanctuary if you will, from the outside world and dealers and contraband has now become the barrel in which the fish reside.

Confused? I was too, until I did a little research on the subject. Mexican drug cartel members use drug rehabilitation centers as recruiting grounds for couriers / mules as well as seeking retribution on members from rival factions seeking to go straight. Yeah well, whatever. If you find yourself in a Mexican drug rehabilitation center I would assume that is one step above being locked in a Turkish prison.

I can't help but chuckle at the thought of these cartel members protecting their client base by putting it out to their drug purchasing peeps that if they even think about trying to get clean, "we will shoot you, your junkie friends and the unsuspecting staff. Oh yeah, and anybody else who might be there". 

"Oh shit, you're in rehab? We will wait for you......uh on second thought how about we just show up and start shooting the patients? Great see you there..... Nice".

Thus was the case this past week in Mexico, and it isn't the first time either.

Is this a sign of shit to come form the the other side of the border? How many days will pass until some rehab in Texas or Arizona gets shot up by the same people or group? Mexico in this case is the proverbial lab rat - if it works down there it will inevitably work up here. Killing junkies is perhaps two steps removed from killing children, something that even the rag head terrorists won't fucking do.

I like to chalk all of this up to attrition, Darwinism and or natural selection. But, exterminating helpless, addiction riddled folks in the throes of withdrawl is just not cool. However, my buddy in Vegas says, and he is often right, "you want to piss off this country? Kill some children and see how fast the bombs come out". I have to agree with him, and although I don't see a pending nuclear reaction for killing junkies the intent or motive is eerily similar. 

However, the sales pitch that these Mexican cats have is interesting. "Use our product or we will kill you. Try to stop using our product, we got that, you're dead". What other industry in history has gone to such extremes in the modern era to protect and maintain its customer base? I got nothing.......

I Wish I Were.......

Fuck! I didn't want to do it. The entire Wienergate issue is already out of hand with all of the media covering a guy who likes to fuck. That said, he definitely will not be the last government official to screw around on his wife, on government time, using official government phones and email blah blah just to lie about it when caught - then to come (oops) clean and admit not only the utter stupidity of the lie, but own the sex and or inappropriate behavior.

Give the Wiener dude his props, he says (as of today) that he won't resign. Sure you won't dummy. Your wife comes back from her trip with her boss Hillary (my husband fucks anything that will hold still) Clinton, and don't think for one second her pregnant ass is going to put up with your fucking around on her. Her boss has had the time it takes to fly across the Atlantic to educate her on the finer points of fucking you over. This includes, but is not limited to, the nuclear (info that can kill your career) bomb she now has hanging over your stupid looking face.

You can't run for the NY Mayor's office now either, Mr. Bladwin is going to run and you don't fuck with the Baldwin brothers. Those cats took your weak ass game pro years, neh, decades ago. You are for all intents and purposes what the English refer to as "proper fucked".

Do yourself a favor and give slick Willie a call and ask him how he dealt with his wife's bullshit when he came (oops) across on television as a liar. It may give you some insight on just how bleak your future is.

Shit, Trump says you should resign. And when sir Combover speaks you should listen. But seriously, milk this fucker for all it's worth. Get a sex tape out, sell some t-shirts - do something to capitalize on this mess you created because as sure as you are a stupid looking politician your wife is angry, pregnant and now motivated. Look for her to be in the next senate race.

Cutting edge Legislation

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