We have all been there. Married or divorced, together or apart, cheating or faithful. That pretty much sums it up for all except the asexual who have my sincere condolences. I'm so fucking sorry you are addicted to Star Wars, Star Trek, Comic Con or The Bridges of Madison County (the worst movie ever). George Lucas thanks you though for that new house in Bermuda he bought with the cash he got from you all not screwing. Fuck off Chewbaca.
Over the last few weeks I have been enlightened to a few things, fun tidbits of info which could and should be useful to any single dude regardless of which state you hail, or now reside. Don't mistake my intentions - my girl straight up got away. "Fuck off" I think it was. The hotness in my world has decided that the company of an emotional 8 year old doesn't suit her. I am what I am, and with that being said I drudged up some valuable knowledge which I would be remiss in not passing on to my single male friends out there in the big bad world.
1) Single chicks (God love them) under 30 are completely and totally BATSHIT crazy. This is of course a generality, so the one girl (if there is one) originally from Vegas and my favorite 42 year old from LA are exempt - as well as family members.
2) When all goes to shit, refer to rule #1.
3) Drink only expensive Vodka. The cheap shit kills more brain cells and not only gives you a headache but kicks you in the balls in the AM. Oh yeah, don't believe the psychobabble that nobody can smell the stuff. It's bullshit.
4) At the edge of the world, feel everything before you jump off into oblivion. You may feel nothing again.
AXL FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Muthafuckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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